Autumn in Boulder + Thoughts About Feeling Stuck

Yesterday, I spent most of my morning-to-mid-afternoon running errands. I had to get 4 new tires on my car - apparently you're supposed to rotate them every 5k miles?! The two rear were, "cupped," and the two front, balled. Why do tire-conditions have such suggestive terms? I definitely feel better about winter with new tires though. 

My first day in Boulder, March 2014.

While at Discount Tire, I continued reading the most recent book I have started, "Michael Caine: The Elephant to Hollywood." I have increasingly become more interested in the lives of interesting people, and Michael Caine is definitely one of them. 

I have been reading this book aloud in my mind, with Michael Caine's voice. How can you not?

After finishing up the tire situation, I met up with Laurie and Katie for fall-frolicking in a nearby pumpkin patch. We definitely got lost in the corn maze; Katie was pretty  good at finding all the dead ends. 

All in all, the day was fun. 

Let me digress into a more somber topic: feeling stuck. 

I am still working things out in my head, but how in the world can I feel stuck already? I felt stuck in Texas and now I feel stuck in Colorado. It just goes to show that you can't physically move and expect things to change. 

You change from within. 

That doesn't mean you have to stay put, but it does put meaning into, "bloom where you're planted." 

I am not leaving Colorado right now, so I have no choice but to figure out what blooming looks like, from where I am. 

Autumn is my favorite season, and maybe it's because I get most reflective and inward-bound during this season. If you know anything about ayurverda, autumn is all about the vata dosha...becoming a bit out of balance. My birthday is also this month, so I wonder what being a vata & a libra-scorpio-cusp in Autumn, during Mercury Retrograde has to do with things...

I do not feel grounded, I want to flee everything and everyone, and/or just hide and wait for the, "stuckness," to go away. (How whiney do I sound right now??)

That's really not how it works though, is it? 

First of all, it is ok to feel stuck. 

Feeling stuck gives you chances to look around and notice things that you might not have. After all, you feel like you're not going anywhere, so you begin to reflect more. 

Secondly, be aware that feeling stuck can be a bit dangerous. 

We can become restless and make choices we might not have otherwise made. (More on this, once I am done processing some of my recent choices). 

Lastly, sometimes feeling stuck means that our life is about to turn another direction; one we might not have expected. 

I know that is happening in my life right now. I have been camping out at cafes, writing, reading, and studying more than I have since I dropped out of college. I know that I want to write a movie and a memoir, and so I am preparing for that journey. 

So, as I write this, I am encouraging myself & you: just let yourself be stuck. There is a reason for it, and if you try to see what you can learn from it, you will be thankful for it. After all, not feeling stuck is so much more beautiful when you know how it feels to be stuck.