I Just Love It

** Sometimes, I just need to write. Currently reporting from a coffee shop in Denver, while I wait for my tattoo appointment.**

I've always thought I was manic-depressive, or bi-polar - something that defined how crazy I feel sometimes. My favorite books are always memoirs of fallen, but brilliant english majors (Prozac Nation, Wasted, etc). However, I find that I really like to think outside the box which includes thinking outside clinical labels.

So, I call it "being in flux." The earth goes through cycles, who says my brain and/or hormones aren't cycling, naturally, and emotions are a by-product?

Typically, I can tell when it's hitting me because of the music I am listening to, as well as the books I pick up and become engrossed with - on the page and off:

- Catcher in the Rye (Holden Caufield was my idol in high school).
- The Bell Jar (Duh. I'm a female literary-nerd, who also happens to have lots of emotions).
- Memoirs, memoirs, memoirs. If you're a dysfunctional english major, chances are, you will write a memoir one day. And then I will read it.

I do enjoy my time, "in flux," in a completely cathartic way. It always feels like I'm shedding another layer of skin.

Last night, my nightly journal-writing was absolutely insane. I wonder if this is the real me, or if this is a part of me that's decided to wake up with all the other "waking up," I've been doing. Is there a monster underneath all the positive living and thinking I have been working on lately?

It could also be Mercury being in retrograde.

Who knows.

All in all, in the last two days, I have:

- cut my hair
- colored my hair
- hired a tattoo artist to time-stamp all this chaos. (Currently writing from a coffeeshop while I wait for my appointment time).

I know this just means more change is heading my way. I've quit my job, decided to start my own social media company, gone through a relationship-status change, and have a completely wide-open, unknown life ahead of me.

I just love it.



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